To Bailout or Not to Bailout, That is the Recession.

My fellow Americans...What the hell is going on? We have a bailout, we don't have a bailout, democrats approve, republicans disapprove, cats living together with dogs...well, as the kids like to text...WTF? I wanted to write about this after this whole thing went kaboom on Monday, and Wall Street went down like a John Denver Cessna flight, but I just couldn't wrap my head around the whole situation. So, I took some time, did some research and am now prepared to give the Elephant-vs-Jackass assessment of the situation. Let me preface this however by admitting that I have not read all 100 plus pages of the bailout proposal - outside of Harry Potter books and steamy romance novels, I simply refuse to read anything over 20 pages if I'm not getting paid.

Let me start by saying that President Bush needs to quit it with all this fire and brimstone, gloom and doom, stuff. The sky is not falling, pigs have yet learned to fly, and I'm pretty sure hell doesn't need a Zamboni. Panic and exaggeration only compact the problem at hand, and unfortunately, many of us, including our congressmen and women, have fallen for this "the world's going to explode" ideology. Yes, we have a hefty sized problem on a wet paper plate, but lets keep things in perspective. We absolutely need to pass some kind of rescue plan, but it needs to be done intelligently. Rushing to a solution just to have one, doesn't mean it's a good one. This decision will impact our nation for many years to come, so it makes sense that if we need a couple days do get it right, rather than just get it done, so be it. It can't be delayed for months and months, as the credit markets are getting pretty chilly, but I think most Americans are willing to hold off for a week on getting that loan for a KIA, if it means they won't be raped and pillaged by the government for the next 5 years.

Enjoy this, because it doesn't happen often - I actually applaud the Republicans on this for not passing the bailout deal as it stood. Even if there were slimy political motives behind it, it was the right conclusion...that bill was crap on a stick. Of course credit goes to those Democrats as well who went against their party to fight for something better for Joe Farmer and Suzy Salesclerk. I especially want to give credit to Dennis Kucinich, who opposed the bill. If there is a single person in Washington that does more to fight for the average American, and bring some accountability and integrity to the Hill, I certainly haven't identified them. Mr. Kucinich gave one of the most rational, non-political assessments of the deal that I have heard, so Dennis, even if you believe in UFO's and can hide entire cities in your coat pockets, you're ok in my book.

On the reverse side of this, there are many people that should be stoned for this debacle. First of all, will somebody please tell Nancy Pelosi when it is and when it is not a good time to infuse politics in to the crucial decision making that needs to be done on behalf of the entire country. If you missed Pelosi's speech, let me paraphrase: "Before we vote, I want to point out that we are in this mess because of all of you right wing jerkoffs and your shit for brains ideology. Now vote with me to pass this bill." Thankfully Ms. Pelosi's idiocy was matched by a large portion of Republican representatives who had their feelings hurt by the Speaker's tender and thoughtful speech. And once again, the best interests of you and me and Bobby McGee, were thrown out that big metaphorical window so our representatives could play Red guy Vs. Blue guy.

Looking for more idiots to get pissed off at? I offer up the ancient soul of one Senator John McCain. Thank God he called off his campaign to save the world by pushing through this important bailout - and then called his campaign back on because he was confident he had saved the day and got his fellow Republicans on board with the bill - and then blamed Barack Obama for doing nothing as the bill failed to pass - trying to hide the point that his help...well, it didn't help. If this is the kind of cool, rational thinking and leadership we can expect from a McCain presidency, we might as well just have Sarah Palin running the country, so at least we can have something to laugh at.

So, now for the bailout and what I think is wrong with it. This Bailout has several faults. To begin with, it doesn't really address the mortgage crisis. You can pump money back into these huge banks and investment firms forever, but until we find ways to keep people in their homes, we're not going to get rid of this problem. There are tons of ideas from economists on how to do this, and I'll try to get to those in the next few days. Also, from what I can tell, the bill will limit annual salaries for CEO's of these companies to $500,000 - but I haven't yet seen anything that limits their multi-million bonuses...hopefully I just missed that part in my skim through. I think both Senators Obama and McCain are correct in requesting the FDIC to raise their insured level from $100,000 to $250,000. Frankly this rate should have been adjusted long ago because of this crazy little thing called inflation. Now might be a good time to insure the American people that a larger portion of their funds are safe, don't you think? But basically their is one fundamental problem that kind of umbrellas the whole issue...

Bailout 2.0 simply continues the same same trickle down economics that helped push as in to this losing affair. Let's buy up all these toxic investments and give the money to these companies that screwed over the country on their greed, and expect that they will do better, consumers will gain confidence, money will flow freely from the well, and trickle down onto the peons of the country(yes, that pun was intentional). Really? That's like a parent saying, "Billy, you really have to stop punching your little brother in the face, he doesn't like it, but you know what, why don't you go ahead and punch him in the face again, and maybe he'll bleed less this time...he needs to toughen up." We have to have Mom and Dad sticking up for the little brother in this situation. We can't just give the same few powerful, wealthy people more money after they mess up, and expect them to make better decisions with it the second time around. This plan gives no significant reason for this to not happen again in the future, and that is the main problem.

The Lemonade Stand Version of the Bailout
I like to think of this plan in terms of a lemonade stand. Picture this. A couple of kids have these lemonade stands set up in their neighborhood and are doing really well for themselves. Their raking in a couple bucks a day with their high quality lemonade from fresh squeezed lemons. They then find an opportunity to buy a crappy lemonade mixture from their buddy down the street for less, and still sell it off for more. The kids start pulling in even more money. Then they find out another kid in the neighborhood is simply pissing in cups and calling it lemonade. They decide to buy up his piss in a cup, and sell that off too. Now, the kids are taking in more money then they know what to do with. These kids just start filling cup after cup with piss lemonade, because hey, nobody's watching them. Then - a problem hits. The first customers start to realize that they aren't getting fresh squeezed lemonade, and realize they just purchased shitty lemonade mixture. Then it gets even worse when other people realize that they just bought and drank piss, for the price of fresh squeezed lemonade. And these kids now have all the money they earned tied up in all this shitty lemonade mixture and piss - but now nobody wants any of their toxic lemonade, and they are forced to shut down. But then, the parents decide they need to step in, and they say, "This is no good. This neighborhood needs its lemonade stands. You know what kids, we've got a plan. We're going to buy up all of your shitty lemonade and piss with this money we collected from every person in the neighborhood. You can take that money and start your lemonade stand back up, and we'll trust that you'll go back to selling fresh-squeezed lemonade, rather than urine in a cup. People will start buying lemonade again, and everything will be great. And the best part is, we'll hold on to your old shitty lemonade and piss for a while, and then we'll try to sell it off for a profit, and pay everyone in the neighborhood back. Then we can all live happily ever after."

I guess to sum things up in a tidy little package, there is more that is wrong with this bailout than is right. While I despise the fact that politics is preventing progress in Washington, I'm glad they're at least going to try and make some improvements. Unfortunately, I can't help but feel that we are setting ourselves up to purchase a 700 billion dollar band-aid. And once again, Wall Street will walk off jovially into the sunset with pockets full of money, and you'll be stuck helping the government buy their piss.

A Fashionably Late or Functionably Lazy Roundup of the First Debate

After watching the 1st presidential debate on Friday evening, and then watching the pundits on both sides eat the truth, work it through their systems and regurgitate it as an all new dish, I thought I'd wait for the weekend and wine to wear off before I jumped into the topic. In my opinion, there was no knockout punch, but I would have to say Obama came out a little less bloodied. Here's what I took away from the whole thing:

1. What was with John McCain's insistence on making reference after reference that reminds us how old he is. Come on John, get your head in the game. Your not helping your cause by pointing out that you've been soft-shoeing in the senate since Jesus was a boy, or that your best friends are mostly dinosaurs and cavemen, or that you have the fire needed to change Washington because you were around when fire was discovered. We get it pops, you've been around the block in your Flintstones car a few times...stop feeding the liberals with ammunition.

2. John McCain does not like losing. As in the past, he was very persistent in pointing out that victory is within site in Iraq, and we are winning this and that, and that Obama doesn't want to give troops the resources they need to win, etc. I'm sorry if this seems off base, especially since the closest I've come to war is a couple all-nighter games of Risk - but who really wins in this kind of war? We're spending 10 billion a month in Iraq, so we're losing money, not winning it. Last I checked, we don't seem to have made any new friends in the world by waging this war, so we're not winning friends or respect. Those 4,000 dead US soldiers certainly didn't win. Nor did the countless dead Iraqis, which apparently aren't even worth reporting about. So who won? It doesn't sound to me like anyone has or will win anything out of this whole Goddamn ordeal. Maybe a few oil companies won, but the rest of us are leaving the fair with empty wallets, sadness, and no giant plush Osama Bin Laden. John McCain can take his winning attitude and shove it up his winning ass, and then tell us all how great victory feels.

3. Is it just me or was everyone wearing an absurd amount of make-up? It was like a clown party up on that stage. I was half expecting Jim Lehrer to give each candidate a few tosses at the Bozo Buckets. Will someone please inform the make-up artists of the world that we now have this thing called HD-TV?

4. I think John McCain has Derek Zoolander syndrome and can turn left, because he didn't look at Obama once. Not that Obama was much better, but he at least managed to rotate his torso a few degrees from time to time and look at his opponent.

5. Both of the senators appeared to be knowledgeable on the issues, with no significant advantage for either on any single topic. They both said what their bases wanted to hear and did so in an intelligent manner. I think each had opportunities to get a solid hit in on their opponent, but both settled for simple sparring. Obama could have put a solid upper-cut to the jaw of McCain's "I'm all for veterans" argument with bringing up his 20% approval rating by the Disabled Veterans of America. But no, he didn't take the shot, because his answers were a little too prepared.

I was overall rather bored by the whole affair. Maybe it's because I follow this stuff every day, or maybe it's because I'm already too excited about the VP battle royale coming this Thursday. Maybe I was just disappointed that McCain showed up and I couldn't use the same 'McChicken' joke that every blogger and journalist in the world was dying to use. Oh well, I guess I can always turn my attention to more exciting activities, like like watching the stock market bungee jump with a piece of yarn around its ankle. Yikes!

Colbert and Stewart drop their characters for an EW interview

Hey everyone. I just wanted to post this link to a preety interesting little interview that Entertainment Weekly did with Comedy Central heroes Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert. Both step out of their showman characters for a few minutes and just talk as regular guys. It's interesting to see these two comedians take on politics when they aren't laying the satire on in abundance. Here's the link, or you can also find it on your local magazine rack and get the privledge of paying for it.

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20228603,00.html

Bailout! Bailout! The USS Wall Street is sinking!

I was pretty much trying to avoid this topic, as I admittedly am not a financial genius - reference my empty wallet for evidence. However, this is the big story out there, and I've discovered that most people are just as, if not more confused by this whole thing than I am. Most of us can go to Wikipedia and look up what a hedge fund is, and after reading the definition, still ask, "ok, but what is a hedge fund?". Thankfully, for both of us, I'll try to steer clear of the quagmire of financial terms.

So, what we're potentially looking at is a $700 billion dollar bailout for these 'investment banks' and insurance agencies, and other corporate fat cats that pretty much are getting exactly what they were asking for. Following years of deregulation from our federal government, we set these financial gurus free to monitor themselves. This experiment is similar to leaving your teenager home alone for a couple weeks with a house full of booze, and seeing what happens. In both cases, it was fairly predictable that it wasn't going to end well...and now after years of being left alone, we've found that wall street has puked all over the carpet and burned down the garage. And who gets left to clean up the mess? If you answered, "me" stand up, because you're the big winner!

After months of saying that there wasn't a problem, Bush and friends finally had to step out into the cold, unloving light of day and admit, "ok, I guess we've got ourselves a little problem". And his solution to saving our economy was brilliant. Let's give Secretary of the Treasury, and former Goldman Sachs executive, Henry Paulson a $700 billion dollar bailout slush-fund of tax-payer money, not monitor what he's doing, and hope everything turns out all roses, and butterflies and happy horse shit like that. Brilliant! So the solution to the problem caused by lack of regulation and monitoring can be solved by further lack of regulation and monitoring , and 4% of our GDP...that makes so much sense...why didn't I think of that?

This is such a great proposal, I don't even know where to start. I like paying for other people's greed. I sleep better at night knowing that the CEO of Morgan Stanly got his 30 million dollar bonus this year. And I really take comfort in knowing that under the Bush/Paulson proposal, those same CEO's who made tens of millions of dollars a year for running their companies into the ground will still be getting paid millions, while you and I shop at the 99 Cent Store and watch Henry Paulson play, "Who wants this worthless stock?".

While both John McCain and Barak Obama have offered outlines for the changes they think need to be made to make Bush's proposal more fair for 'main street', neither was brought up the bailout concept of, "Bail yourself out!" And the crazy thing about all of this is that there is already a good, and fair plan out there to do this. All it takes is putting back in place a tiny little tax, that we actually used for decades until it was cut in 1966. Don't know what this is? Well, put on your detective hat Scooby-Doo, we're going to investigate.

The tax I'm referring to is a Stock Transfer Tax, which basically puts a very small tax on every purchase or sale of a share of stock. This same type of tax previously existed as part of the Revenue Act of 1932, and stayed in place up until 1966 when it was dismantled in a government effort to streamline the tax system. In its previous life, this tax proved to have two great strengths: 1) It's ability to generate funds. And 2) The manner in which it curbed dangerous speculation in the market place.

Ok, great, but what does this have to due with the $700 billion dollar bailout? We're getting there, so stop being impatient or I'll send you to time-out. Alright, back to business.

This concept was actually brought up by respected economist (who looks strangely like my father-in-law) Dean Baker, way back on March 15, 2008. In an article entitled, A Stock Transfer Tax: The Right Medicine for Wall Street, Dean talks about reinstating the stock transfer tax as a way to generate funds for a universal Health Care system, better education, or a movement towards a more Green economy.

In the article, Baker notes the .25% stock transfer tax that is currently in place in the United Kingdom and the London Stock Exchange. Here's where this gets interesting.

If this same tax was placed on all the sales and purchases of shares of stock on Wall Street, the tax would generate an estimated $150 - 200 billion dollars annually. That means that, rather than dig into the pockets of Joe Taxpayer, the government can bailout Wall Street with their own money, and do so within 4 or 5 years. It also would likely pull in the reigns on the absurd speculative money shuffling that's been plaguing Wall Street for years. You have to be a little more careful going all in on the longshot if it will cost you millions in tax, win or lose. Wall Street would probably be more inclined to pick Pretty Little Pony to place and settle for a lesser but more reliable profit.

The tax would mean little to your average investor, and would draw most of it's rewards from the very companies and agencies that got us into this mess. Go ahead and do the Math. Let's say you, as an individual have $20,000 in stocks...now lets say that you that you buy or sell a full $20,000 in shares each month, because you know, you're a mover and a shaker...now lets pull out our calculator. So, even if you had this nice portfolio and handled it as recklessly as I just did...your cost for buying and selling of $240,000 in stocks over the course of the year would only cost you $600 in tax. Since most of us investors aren't going this crazy with our 401K's and other financial goodies, it's more likely that the average middle class investor would be paying only a couple bucks annually to ride the Wall Street crazy train. Compare that to the approximately $6000 per taxpayer price tag Bush and Paulson's plan would saddle us with.

Of course Henry Paulson, when presented with this idea, was not a big fan. My theory is that it has something to do with the fact that Paulson owns 4.58 million shares of stock in now 'former' investment bank, Goldman Sachs. This means his stocks in Goldman Sachs alone are worth about $700 million. I think you can do the math for yourself on this one. $700,000,000 multiplied by .25% - carry the two - and yes sir, we have a conflict of interest on our hands.

Obviously this is just the basics of the situation, but don't you think some of our warriors up on the hill might want to take a little closer look at Dean Baker's proposal? Let's bring back that little thing known as a system of checks and balances along with a plan to make those most responsible for this mess to be the most accountable. Privatized profits, and socialized losses hardly seems like a fair deal, does it? But then again, I'm just a guy with an empty wallet. What do I know?

Hey world! What do you think? Obama or McCain?

Here at home in the United (yet completely divided) States, the polls are showing that we have a real barn-burner of a presidential election going on. But have you ever stopped to think about how the international community feels? I mean, who we elect as President can have a pretty significant impact on their daily hubbub as well. So what does the world think? We know they were less than thrilled when we 'elected' the big W in 2000, and most thought the US should be declared clinically insane when we decided to double-down on our idiocy in 2004. But now, in 2008, we are guaranteed someone new - well, one of them is pretty freaking old - but you get the point. Thankfully, our media pals across the pond, the BBC, were wondering the same thing and polled 22 countries over the course of July and August to find out the international opinion. So, what did they think?

Well, of the 22 nations polled, only 22 said they would prefer Obama to be the next US President over McCain. That's 22 nations that are just asking to get destroyed by the McCain/Give me a P! - give me an A! - give me an L! - give me an I! - give me an N! - ticket, should they be victorious in November.

But it was close, right? It was extremely close, with 12% favoring McCain, and Obama just a few ticks ahead at 49%. The other 39% of the world thinks we're already a lost cause and are currently urinating on the US dollar and laughing maniacally.

Clearly the world is biased, sexist, and in the tank with Obama and all of his lying, cheating supporters. So what if 100% of the countries in the world think Obama would be the better pick, 100% of the world is wrong. The only thing this poll shows is that foreigners are stupid. USA! USA! USA!

The countries involved in the over 22,000 person GlobeScan conducted poll were Australia, Brazil, Canada, China, Egypt, France, Germany, India, Indonesia, Italy, Kenya, Lebanon, Mexico, Nigeria, Panama, the Philippines, Poland, Russia, Singapore, Turkey, the UAE, Britain.

John McCain knows where at least 4 of those countries are, but would not commit to speaking with leaders of any of them.

Sarah Palin is set loose to speak for herself

I'll keep this short, because there is literally nothing I can say to even explain this.  This video from CNN shows us what we've all been waiting for...Sarah Palin - UNSCRIPTED!  And oh my God, did she deliver.  This is her response to a question regarding potential export bans on newly drilled US oil at a town hall forum in Grand Rapids, MI.  This masterpiece may rival Ms. South Carolina.  Please feel free to watch multiple times.

What do the people want?  A transcript you ask?  Well, a transcript you shall receive my good people.

TRANSCRIPT:
"Oil and coal? Of course, it's a fungible commodity and they don't flag, you know, the molecules, where it's going and where it's not. But in the sense of the Congress today, they know that there are very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first," Palin said. "So, I believe that what Congress is going to do, also, is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it's Americans that get stuck to holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here. It's got to flow into our domestic markets first."

I believe there is not a need for me to say anything else.

Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild - A former Clinton supporter - to endorse McCain

In a stunning move sure to ruffle the DNC's feathers, Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild, a former Hillraiser who rounded up over $100,000 for the Hillary Clinton campaign will now be endorsing senator John McCain. Forester de Rothschild, who is the CEO of EL Rothschild, a holding company with businesses around the world is married to international banker Sir Evelyn de Rothschild. In an interview with CNN this summer, Lady Forester de Rothshild stated the following as her reason for not shifting her support to Barack Obama: “This is a hard decision for me personally because frankly I don't like him. I feel like he is an elitist."

And Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild knows an elitist when she see's one. she can spot one from her 3,200-acre Rothschild family estate in Buckinghamshire, or from her tiny little condo (probably a studio) in New York. She could spot an elitist when she honeymooned at the White House in 2000, and she can spot one now. So she fits right in line with John McCain who has long called Obama an elitist. I mean, seriously, how elitist can this guy get? He's had every advantage in the world; he's a black male, who grew up without a father, was bounced around from Kansas, to Hawaii, to Indonesia in his youth, and was paying off student loans up until a few years ago. ELITIST!

Meanwhile, Obama was endorsed yesterday by 6 Women's Rights Groups: The Feminist Majority Foundation, the National Organization for Women, Business and Professional Women/USA, the National Association of Social Workers, the National Congress of Black Women and the Women's Information Network.

Were you aware of any of that? No? Well, apparently neither were many of the major media outlets in the nation. CNN, who has highlighted the Lady Forester de Rothshild endorsement has as of today, failed to make note of it. Not that the opinions of tens of thousands of women can even come close to the importance of the opinion of Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild. If you'd like to know more about Lady Rothschild, have a read of the below article which prefaced an interview she did with Politico.com - you'll clearly see that we need to listen to this women about how much of an elitist Obama is. I pasted the story directly as the link is a little funky and makes your computer want to cry. I'll keep checking CNN Tabloid news to see if they care to mention those 6 women's rights groups.

From Politico.com

When 67-year-old British banking scion Sir Evelyn Rothschild first set eyes on 44-year-old Lynn Forester at the 1998 Bilderberg conference—the matchmaker was none other than Henry Kissinger—she was already a woman of major means.A corporate lawyer and telecommunications entrepreneur, the sparkly blond ex-wife of former New York politician Andrew Stein had made more than $100 million from the sale of cleverly acquired wireless broadband licenses. She was also sexy, charming, and dazzlingly well connected. Two years later, after the smitten Sir Evelyn divorced his second wife, Victoria Schott, the mother of his three children, Forester became the third Lady Rothschild.

After marrying in November 2000 at a London synagogue, they honeymooned at the White House, guests of Lynn's good friends Bill and Hillary Clinton.Today the New Jersey-born Lady de Rothschild—the flashiest hostess in London—is mates with Tony and Cherie Blair, among other topflight Britons. She's also mistress of the former John Singer Sargent home in Chelsea and of Ascott House, the 3,200-acre Rothschild family estate in Buckinghamshire, and the chief executive of E.L. Rothschild, the holding company that she owns with her third husband to manage investments in the Economist and various enterprises in India. Those include FieldFresh, a startup that will grow and export Indian fruits and vegetables for markets in Europe and Asia, and a soon-to-be-announced retail venture aimed at the exploding Indian middle class.

In July, Sir Evelyn completed the sale of his stake in the centuries-old English branch of the Rothschild banking empire (for a reported $600 million)—which frees up a lot of capital for them to be major players in the Indian business world.

Obama is going to tax the crap out of you...

According to recent polls, 53% of Americans think that Senator Barack Obama's Tax plan would mean an increase in taxes for them.  The McCain Campaign thinks so, and rightfully so since John and Cindy...yeah, they'd be dishing out a few extra Benjamins.  But the big question is, what would Obama's plan mean to your finances.  Unfortunately for those of us who aren't blue collar grease monkeys or white collar middle-management wastoids, it looks like we'd be paying a little more.  And so would the big-ass corporations we've worked so hard to build, on shipping jobs overseas or paying illegals a "special" minimum wage.  But all you lazy asses making less than about $250,000 a year, will sadly be handed a tax cut - in most cases - especially for those just north of being hobos -  you will get a bigger tax cut than John McCain will give you.  You see, John McCain knows that when we help the rich get richer, that eventually all you riff-raff out there will get your trickle down from those of us who aren't retards.  So while Obama might give the whining middle class a few extra bucks so they can buy groceries, if you're making your millions, Obama will tax the crap out of you, and you can kiss that 3rd jet-ski at your 4th vacation home in Cape Cod goodbye.  

So, if you must, follow the link to see how much or how little the Obama Tax plan would save you.  And then get a better job you lazy sacks of middle class meat.

 http://alchemytoday.com/obamataxcut/

Millions of deceptive absentee ballots sent to registered democrats by McCain Campaign

Well, as much as I want this to be a humor blog, there are some things that I just won't joke about (at least yet) because they are too serious and important. Voters rights are getting played like a fiddle, and regardless of who you want to vote for, the process should be done fairly.

Reports are surfacing today about the McCain campaign sending out millions of absentee voter ballots to registered Democrats. Stupid Republicans, Right?

WRONG! Smart Republicans.

So why would the McCain campaign send out these pro-McCain absentee ballots to registered democrats? Well, buckle-up kiddies and come along for the ride!

As much as i wish this was a joke, these are not phony absentee ballots, they are legit - which is the problem. These absentee ballots, which feature very pro-McCain images and references, may seem like they are trying to sway Democrats to vote for McCain, but that is not the case. They want you to fill out the absentee ballot for Obama. But Why would the McCain Campaign want people to vote for Obama? Here's where it gets fun...

These ballots have a small box (not required by law) for the absentee voter to check if they confirm they are legally able to vote. This box, however, is easy to miss and is not on normal absentee ballots.

HOW IT WORKS: These ballots were sent specifically to registered democrats in most cases. The idea is that the democratic recipients will put in an absentee ballot for Obama, but if they don't catch the little box (which is not on standard ballots, but is legal) then their vote cannot legally be counted. In addition to this deceiving (but apparently legal) tactic, the return addresses on many of these ballots are to the wrong county clerks office, so once completed and returned by the voter, they go to the wrong place. This means once again, the absentee ballot can become null and void, without the voter even knowing. So, you think you've placed your absentee ballot for Obama, but in reality, you've just had your vote stolen and wasted by a forced technicality. Is this really happening? Yes. Is it illegal? It's really tip-toeing the line.

Whether you are a Republican or Democrat, you should be upset about this, because it is abusing your right as an American Voter. This is an extremely dirty tactic trying to play off the ignorance of the American people. As the day goes on, reports are starting to surface of this mailing campaign hitting more and more states. Several links are below, with literally thousands of others to be found if you do a search. Some are from traditional news sources and some are from blogs, but I tried to keep it to blogs that are generally considered legit.

Source(s):
http://news.cincinnati.com/apps/pbcs.dll

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/9/5/1

http://blackboxvoting.com/s9/index.php?/

There's already an interesting twist in Hamilton, OH, where the county clerk (a registered Democrat) has already found close to a thousand votes that could not legally be counted, because that little box wasn't checked. Now, the McCain Camp is pissed that this county clerk wants to return the ballots to voters so they can check the box, claiming she is tampering with votes. So, not only are they putting out these deceptive ballots, but they are also trying to blame the Democrats. With the election 2 months away, it is already trying to be stolen. Go ahead and call it a conspiracy theory if you want, but this is the real deal. Please be very careful when voting, especially if you are voting absentee. Everyone, regardless of whom they want to vote for, should have their ballot counted fairly. I would hope despite our differences that we could at least agree on that.

Sarah Palin - Now in Action Figure form

About a week ago I wrote a blog about Caribou Barbie Sarah Palin, talking about how she's pretty much a super-hero. Today, a link sent by a friend confirmed my belief. Sarah Palin now joins the Ranks of Spiderman, Batman, GI Joe, Barbie and Skipper, with her very own series of Action figures! Check it out -

http://www.herobuilders.com/08.htm

These people are really onto something. They should make an entire Caribou Barbie playset. Palin will come complete with a shotgun in one hand and a bible in the other, decked out in designer glasses and a "hot for teacher" business suit - all removable of course, for your inner non-partisan perv. She'll come with tons of play money (from play pork barrels) and her very own team of lawyers to fend off any nasty inquisitions into abuse of power.

Coming soon is the Caribou Barbie Eco playset - complete with a play helicopter for hunting wolves! This massive playset will feature tons of endangered species for you to kill of at your own discretion! It also comes with 17 feet of flexible oil pipelines! Put your oil pipelines wherever you want. Block off a baby moose from it's mother and watch it cry! Stick an oil rig right through a beluga whales face and laugh away while it screams! Yeah!!!!!

Note: Caribou Barbie Eco playset no longer comes with simulated global warming - because global warming isn't real.

And coming just in time for Christmas or Hanukkah (if your a sinner who won't accept Jesus as your lord) new action Todd Doll. Action Todd can clap his hands, ride a snowmobile, or do both at the same time!!!!! Yeah!!!!!

And in stores now - New Talking Sarah Palin Doll. Just pull the chord and she'll say the damnedest things in an accurately obnoxious back-country accent! Here's some samples -

"I'm a hockey mom, don't ya know."
"I'm a pit bull, but with lipstick"
"I'm all for the bridge to nowhere"
"Fuck that bridge to nowhere"
"Todd, can you watch the kids, while I play make-believe with the country?"
"Mmm, do I smell Pork for dinner?"
"I'm gonna shatter that glass ceiling and then stick the shards in a bunch of Muslims"
"I'm a reformer."
"Who's Thomas Jefferson? I went to school with a Walter Jefferson. You think they're related?"
"Back off bitch...I was in the PTA."

And this is just a small sample of the thousands of things your Sarah Palin doll can say.

Note: Talking Sarah Palin does not answer questions. She can only say what she's programmed to say.


---God, I hope someone makes this (I of course say this as a prayer, not taking the lords name in vain)

***Thanks to my friend Mere for the link...even if she is a filthy liberal.

The Real Candidates of Change...

Apparently the real candidates of change, McCain and Palin, are able to be change agents without actually changing a thing - like their staff.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13323.html

I love oil and so does Sarah Palin!

I absolutely love oil. If I could bathe in black gold, I think I would, and I'd want Sarah Palin to be my tub-buddy. The more I read about her, the more impressed I am, and the more I wished I lived in Alaska. Did you know that last year, every Alaskan received a check for $1600 thanks to the presence of big oil in the state? Imagine what you could do with $1600...like buy gas for the next month. If only they had something like that here in California...too bad we don't have much oil here, just a bunch of worthless sunshine and wind, which don't do any good - plus I've heard they're harmful to the oil industry.

Maybe I have a tin-man complex, I don't know, but I just can't get enough of the petroleum stuff. And neither can Sarah Palin. She's all for drilling the crap out of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR), and frankly why wouldn't you be? We should all be for it. According to a 2004 study by the Energy Information Agency, opening up the 19 million acres of ANWR to drilling would cut the cost of a gallon of gas by up to 3.5 cents by 2027. That means in about 20 years (in which I'm sure gas prices won't go up) you could probably be saving $30 a year on gas...and all it will cost are a few dead animals, and potentially catastrophic environmental consequences in Alaska. But, hey, your saving money, Alaskans will get bigger checks from bigger oil, and everybody will be happy...except for the dead animals...they'll just be dead. But, hey the war in Iraq has already shown that we don't really care who dies as long as we get our oil - yeehah! Sarah Palin understands this...and so should you.

She understood in May of this year, when the Department of the Interior placed Polar Bears on the endangered species list, that this decision could potentially interfere with drilling in Alaska's costal waters - and promtly sued the federal government. Sarah Palin understands that Polar bears are just fuzzy meat sacks of interference. And she made sure that Beluga Whales didn't get any additional protection either as doing so would once again potentially interfere with where we could drill.

How can so many people not grasp the concept that oil makes everything better, especially if it's right in your backyard. Screw the bears and whales...those sons of bitches might be costing you 70 cents a week. 70 cents! You'd be sacraficing almost a whole tank of gas every year just so some animals you can easliy see in a zoo, get to live? Come on - Oil! Oil! Oil!

McCain overtakes Obama in the polls - finally!

Has anyone out there ever taken a poll? I have never in my life taken a poll for a politcal race, or any other reason? What's more than that...I don't know anyone else that has either. Are the same 800 people taking these polls every week, or are these polling places just going, "oh yeah, we asked 942 people who they'll vote for and here's what they said...and here's a margin of error since we really didn't ask anybody."

And who are these 4-10% of people that are undecided? Clearly the only reasonable choice in this election is McCain. In case you didn't know, he's a war hero, and a Maverick. And in true Top Gun reference mode, I am happy to see that "Maverick" found his "Goose" (Palin). I mean McCain is the candidate of experience, and the candidate of change. He's a reformer who's voted with Bush 100% of the time so far this year, but remains a maverick for calling himself a reformer when evidence clearly indicates otherwise. He can be the attack dog, but has managed to make it 'unfair' if he's attacked. Clearly, according to himself, he is the candidate for everything. And the best thing is, he doesn't even have to tell us how...he's that good. How could you still be undecided? The answer is clear.

And why don't they have a Vice President Poll? I want to see a poll where they ask if the presidential nominee for each party were incapacitated, who would you rather have running the country - Biden or Palin? I want me some Sarah Palin! Ever since she came on board, the republican party has really shown all those "celebrity worshipping" Obama followers, that you can't just vote for someone who's...a celebrity. Oh, and did you see the latest People and Us magazine photos of Palin? OMG - Fabulous!

How about a poll on hypocracy? ....Anyone? ....Bueller? ....Yeah, I thought not.

Cindy McCain's Dress

According to an associated press article released today, Vanity Fair editors estimated that McCain's fierce saffron shirt dress with the popped collar, diamond earrings, four-strand pearl necklace, white Chanel watch and strappy shoes totaled up to $313,100. Who says that the McCain's are out of touch with average American's? If I wear my jeans that I have on today that cost about $31.31 for the next 10,000 days (27 years), isn't that really the same thing?

And noboday's complaining about the famous Michelle Obama "The View" dress. That thing costs $148, and it was off the rack. Off the freakin' rack. Shouldn't a potential first lady be wearing something classier than a dress that most women in America could go out and buy? Out of touch.

Palin's Ebay Jet

There's been a fair amount of discussion around the story of how Sarah Palin sold her predecessor's luxery jet on ebay. Some questions were, who bought it? How much did they pay? When was it sold? My first question was, who sells a jet on ebay? I guess no matter what the question, the answer was always pretty clear - how cool is Govenor Palin for being a reformer that sold off a luxery jet that wasn't necessary.

Unfortunately, reports are coming out today that the jet, while listed on ebay at one time, didn't actually sell on Ebay, or for a profit as claimed by the McCain/Palin ticket - which aside from being a totally sexist report makes Palin and McCain look like liers. But it's really not a big deal. I mean, Palin did eventually sell the jet to an Alaskan businessman (who had donated to her campaign) for a significant loss, but it's almost the same thing. Not to mention after ebay failed to produce a high enough bidder (as if most americans don't just have 2.7 million sitting around) she tried to sell it 3 times at a San Jose auction house, which when that failed, she sold to her fellow Alaskan. Do you see how determined this woman is to sell? While she might not have sold the jet on ebay, she did sell most of America on the non-fact that she did, which in turn does make her a great saleswoman. Just because she sold the jet to a deep pockets insider for a loss, instead of to the winner of a fair democratic auction for a profit doesn't mean that she's not a reformer, or twists the truth, does it?

John McCain's Acceptance Speech

I thought John McCain's acceptance speech tonight, USA USA USA USA, was incredibly, USA USA USA, long, which means he has a lot to, USA USA USA USA USA USA say.  Many critics of McCain, USA USA USA USA, have said that he hasn't presented the issues, USA USA USA, but tonight he showed, USA USA, that USA USA USA USA, that he knows what the issues are, USA USA USA.  

His message will, USA USA USA, clearly invigorate, USA USA USA USA, hockey moms, USA USA USA, Nascar fans, USA USA USA, Formula 1 fans, USA USA, Motocross fans, USA USA USA, monster truck fans, USA USA USA, and all sorts of people USA USA, that have looked at the last eight years, and said, "Thank you sir, can I have another" USA USA USA!

CNN shows the GOP's diversity.

Thank God for CNN's honest and fair look at the GOP delegates at the Republican National Convention. There has been so much negative talk about how the crowd gathered at the RNC, and the Republican Party, are just a bunch of old white guys. Thanks to some stellar camera work and production at CNN, you know better, if you've been watching. Almost every third shot of the crowd, featured a black person. In fact, both African Americans in attendance were featured almost more than images of Presidential hopeful McCain. Where's the diversity you ask? How about the young white guys, or even the young white woman that were shown? CNN made sure that we were aware of the presence of the young Republican voters out there, catching all of them on camera, before they carpooled home in their Chevy Malibu, following the evenings final speech by Democrat-turned republican-but still technically democrat-but Pro John McCain-despite agreeing with him on nothing- Joe Lieberman.

While some may just see an ocean of old white guys, I saw diversity. Even in their featured music performance of the evening, the Republicans reached out with a performer who appeals to all Americans, regardless of race, color, or religion, with Christian singer/songwriter Rachael Lampa. Lampa's inspired performances made every American want to put down their New Testiment for just a moment and cheer.

While other news orginizations tried to say their wasn't diversity, CNN found it, thus joining the ranks of the big boy, fair news sources, like Fox News. So while other networks may claim that this is not as diverse a party as the Democrats, CNN proved that in the midst of the Red tie, very White, and Blue haired crowed, there was also a dash of black, a dollip of brown, and a Jew giving a speech.

Leave Sarah Palin Alone! Why Sarah Palin Rocks!

Everyone needs to just leave Governor Sarah Palin alone.  Clearly you massive hoard of liberals (who are all sexist) don't understand that Sarah Palin is perhaps the most amazing person ever.  When you really break down the person behind the legend you will find, perhaps, the crown jewel of humanity.

Sarah Palin, although human in form, is perhaps better described as a superhero.  When faced with moments of crisis as a member of the PTA in Wasilla, Alaska, Sarah Palin managed to keep diplomacy at the forefront, and prevent a school bus route change from escalating to nuclear Holocaust.

When opposition said, "why would we spend $360 billion to build a bridge to nowhere?" - She had the courage to stand up and say, "Because that bridge does go somewhere.  It goes where this ferry we already have, already goes...but this is a road".  And then she later had the strength to say, "maybe that bridge does go nowhere, let's not do that."  You see, she has the power to firmly say yes, and no, sometimes without even having to change issues.

If this isn't enough, please consider that Governer Palin has a long and storied history of "lowering taxes", which at face value may seem like a minor accomplishment to some.  But when you consider that she managed to due this in a state with no sales or income tax, the feat becomes significantly more awe-inspiring.

When everyone else was pleading to save the polar bears and keep them protected as an endangered species, she had the fortitude to say, "Fuck those polar bears".   When she discovered that wolves and moose were pretty fast animals, she fought hard for equality, and leveled the playing field by hunting them from aircraft.  Think she's not ready to defend the country, just give her a helicopter and a gun, and it will be game over for the opposition.

And through the course of all this, she's managed to be a hockey mom, a beauty contestant, and a sportscaster.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a hockey mom?...those kids have a ton of gear.  And she has handled it all without losing her Caribou Barbie looks.  While others like Barack Obama were wasting their time in the state and national senate, Palin was balancing the  the budget and dealing with the excruciating grind of being the mayor of Wasilla.  She fought so hard for her town, that she single-handedly brought in almost 30 million dollars in funding to this small town - so much money you couldn't even fit it in a pork barrel.   And in her epic, 18 month stint as governor of Alaska, she has continued to fight for the masses.  She'll fight for them as US citizens, or a soverign nation - whatever they want her to do, as long as she stays in office.

This woman has more executive experience than Barack Obama and Joe Biden combined as long as your fair enough to include her heroic history as a member of the Wasilla City counsel.  She has more experience then Obama.  More experience than Biden.  More experience than every Clinton on earth combined.  More experience than Jesus.

Is she qualified to be the Vice President or even the President of this country?  The better question, is are we qualified to be her country.