Elephant Vs Jackass went on Vacation and I am well aware that I suck for not posting in two weeks, but I promise to win back your affections.

Ok, I am sorry I stopped posting for a couple weeks in the midst of one of the most important political decisions in our countries history. I was on vacation in places with little or no internet, and was unable to post, and frankly I think I was suffering from "electile dysfunction". Probably, like many of you, I had OD'd, on CNN, and MSNBC discussing the DNC and GOP on my TV. I was beginning to formulate advanced theories about Anderson Cooper being a cyborg, and Paul Begala and Dennis Kucinich forming an underground leprechaun army, and all sorts of other completely off the wall theories. But, after a little down time with the family in the woods, I am ready to steamroll through the rest of this election and beyond. Hopefully you'll forgive me, even if it's to late to 'pologize (hey). I'll make it up to you. I'll take you to a fancy dinner where I'll order us the cheapest bottle of wine possible, we'll both get drunk, and have hours and hours of hot and dirty make-up blogging...I'll pick you up at 8...where something nice.

So, with my apology out of the way, let me fill you in on my trip a little, and then we can move on to voter fraud, Joe the Plummer, Dress-me-up Caribou Barbie, and all sorts of other fun stuff. It was really interesting going back to the Midwest after pissing away here in Los Angeles for most of this election cycle. I had only seen pictures on TV of what a McCain/Palin bumper sticker or yard sign looked like. Frankly, I thought that maybe McCain and Palin were just mythological creatures, like Mormons. But, when I was traveling through Western Pennsylvania and into Northern Ohio, I saw a lot of McCain and Palin signs. Thankfully there are more than enough people in those parts that know that what this country really needs is an erratic, old-balls, self-proclaimed maverick for president, and a comedy writers dream come true waiting in the wings. Of course there were quite a few misguided souls who decided to litter their slowly browning lawns with Obama paraphernalia as well. Don't they know that this is Republican country? You know, the pro-American part of the country. Not the Anti-America part like where I live. Well, I had a very nice visit with my in-laws, and for the most part, adhered to my wife's rule that I could not talk about politics.

The second part of my trip took me to see my family in Michigan, which was astonishingly beautiful at the time with all the leaves changing. From the moment I got in the car with my Dad at the airport and started driving off, I could tell things were quite a bit different in Michigan than they had been in Ohio. Even in very rural area like where my parents now live, I could have hopped across the state from one Obama sign to another (if they weren't made of low-grade vinyl and Popsicle sticks). Even stranger than that was seeing my grandparents. My grandpa is 87 years old and has never in his life voted for a democrat. This year, he will.

Perhaps, that's what gets lost in the rhetoric of 'change'. In places like Michigan, where people have really been hit hard, people aren't just asking their government to change, their asking themselves to. It's easy to lose sight of what's really going on out there when you're living in a place like Los Angeles. In California, we change just for the sake of changing sometimes...wait, I changed my mind on that thought...nope...changed it again...we're ok now. But in the vast majority of the country, change takes a little bit more time to work it's way through the system - take for example all the people I saw wearing Ed Hardy shirts - Ed Hardy is so 2007. Seriously, people are in no hurry to keep up with the 'changing' ways of us California folks. Did you hear the new Bing Crosby album? It's killer.

The point is that, as divided as this country seems, we all seem to acknowledge that we need to change, as a country and as a people. It just takes a little longer for some of us to let go of our VCR's and 8-tracks. Ultimately, you don't do out and get a cell phone because everyone else is doing it, you get it because you think it can make your life easier and better. Change has certainly been accelerated during this election cycle, but as with everything, it does take time.

Millions of deceptive absentee ballots sent to registered democrats by McCain Campaign

Well, as much as I want this to be a humor blog, there are some things that I just won't joke about (at least yet) because they are too serious and important. Voters rights are getting played like a fiddle, and regardless of who you want to vote for, the process should be done fairly.

Reports are surfacing today about the McCain campaign sending out millions of absentee voter ballots to registered Democrats. Stupid Republicans, Right?

WRONG! Smart Republicans.

So why would the McCain campaign send out these pro-McCain absentee ballots to registered democrats? Well, buckle-up kiddies and come along for the ride!

As much as i wish this was a joke, these are not phony absentee ballots, they are legit - which is the problem. These absentee ballots, which feature very pro-McCain images and references, may seem like they are trying to sway Democrats to vote for McCain, but that is not the case. They want you to fill out the absentee ballot for Obama. But Why would the McCain Campaign want people to vote for Obama? Here's where it gets fun...

These ballots have a small box (not required by law) for the absentee voter to check if they confirm they are legally able to vote. This box, however, is easy to miss and is not on normal absentee ballots.

HOW IT WORKS: These ballots were sent specifically to registered democrats in most cases. The idea is that the democratic recipients will put in an absentee ballot for Obama, but if they don't catch the little box (which is not on standard ballots, but is legal) then their vote cannot legally be counted. In addition to this deceiving (but apparently legal) tactic, the return addresses on many of these ballots are to the wrong county clerks office, so once completed and returned by the voter, they go to the wrong place. This means once again, the absentee ballot can become null and void, without the voter even knowing. So, you think you've placed your absentee ballot for Obama, but in reality, you've just had your vote stolen and wasted by a forced technicality. Is this really happening? Yes. Is it illegal? It's really tip-toeing the line.

Whether you are a Republican or Democrat, you should be upset about this, because it is abusing your right as an American Voter. This is an extremely dirty tactic trying to play off the ignorance of the American people. As the day goes on, reports are starting to surface of this mailing campaign hitting more and more states. Several links are below, with literally thousands of others to be found if you do a search. Some are from traditional news sources and some are from blogs, but I tried to keep it to blogs that are generally considered legit.

Source(s):
http://news.cincinnati.com/apps/pbcs.dll

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/9/5/1

http://blackboxvoting.com/s9/index.php?/

There's already an interesting twist in Hamilton, OH, where the county clerk (a registered Democrat) has already found close to a thousand votes that could not legally be counted, because that little box wasn't checked. Now, the McCain Camp is pissed that this county clerk wants to return the ballots to voters so they can check the box, claiming she is tampering with votes. So, not only are they putting out these deceptive ballots, but they are also trying to blame the Democrats. With the election 2 months away, it is already trying to be stolen. Go ahead and call it a conspiracy theory if you want, but this is the real deal. Please be very careful when voting, especially if you are voting absentee. Everyone, regardless of whom they want to vote for, should have their ballot counted fairly. I would hope despite our differences that we could at least agree on that.